It's very much like the X Factor.
Please read below for why:
It has a lovable (read: so dumb it's not even cute, read: no one loves him) judge.
It has a ballsy (read: annoying, read: gobby) new girl judge.
It has a man of the people (read: patronising, read: fake) host.
It has a glamorous (read: orange, read: more with the dancing than the singing) ex pop star judge.
It has a Simon Cowell (read: always right, read: really likes Hallelujah) judge.
(See them pictured below L-R)
It has a man with a dead wife contestant. Only he sings better than Deadwife.
It has a girl who is fat contestant. Only she sings better than The Fat Girl. And is pretty.
It has teens with no sex parts to scare the children contestants. Only they all sing better than the Eunuch Quigg.
It has girls who are quirky contestants. They all sing better and are no less quirky than Diana 'wankcramp' Vickers.
It has a woman with children and a hard life contestant. Logically, she couldn't sing any worse than Rachel. (And there's been no gun crime hand gestures. So 2-0!)
It has girls we'll just have to trust the producers that they're are actually girls contestants. Surprisingly, they sing less well than Alexandra.
It has girls who can sing in Spanish contestants. They sing just as well as Beautiful, Spanish Ruth so far. But they are neither as beautiful nor as Spanish as she. How could they be? Lorenzo, Lorenzo. I miss you. Come back to the spotlight.
1 comment:
Yes, come back Shouty McBoobs. I miss her too. In a way.
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