Joni Mitchell was right!

There's a you don't know what you got till it's gone joke to be made. I'll leave you to make it.

Reader, without good reality TV, I am lost.

Without Suralan shouting at Ben the tool, without Suralan telling Robocunt to grow a personality, I become painfully aware of how putdownable my rape novel is.

Without glamorous thug Cheryl Cole patronising people, without pop mogul Simon Cowell saying 'I don't want to patronise you,' I consider becoming either an accountant or a wag for the dosh.

I need one of those 2 shows to come back onto the screen so I can write lively and mean-spirited recaps. And give a legitimate, printable dimension to my writing 'career.'

In the interim, I want someone to pay to hire James off of the Apprentice for my next corporate event. Or just for a regular saturday night, really.
I wonder if after dinner speakers are like escorts and an extra £50 gets you the illegal stuff. In this case, I hope so!