Homosexuals and the stupid will mourn the end of American Idol - until next year. A slightly tubby but no less sexy for it, Lee Dewyze scooped victory. Imagine if Jamie Afro could sing, had better hair but was equally fake and considered Hinder and Snow Patrol to be the extreme end of RAWK. That's Lee Dewyze
The more homosexual but equally stupid must study their angles and smize alone sobbing into the mirror until the return of America's Next Top Model. Which I think is in September. Barely enough time for the wound to heal! The viciously, hilariously thug Krista won the show despite being dead old. Imagine Naomi Campbell when she was just starting out, only make her all wrinkly so she'll never be taken seriously, and put her on a barely watched but highly derided TV show so she'll never be taken seriously, and keep her just as angry. That's Krista
The infinitely less homosexual but infinitely more stupid have had their ration of Britain's Got Talent for the year and must immediately return to smoking on their porches and shitting themselves. I admit to watching the final last night out of morbid curiosity and, to save you the trouble of ever watching it yourself, let me assure you it was shit. A bald man did bad impressions of Little Britain and was praised by Amanda Holden for being "current." Even the Little Britain stars aren't current - they have to redo their old jokes on building society ads now. Stfu Holden. Gymnasts Spellbound secured victory and will get to perform to the Queen. Imagine the Cirque du Soleil cast, only make them wag orange and squealy, replace the Beatles soundtrack with Rhydian Fucking Roberts and take away the dancing snails. That's Spellbound. Ghastly.
Kisses until The X Factor,
Thexfactor
