53 Reasons Why I Love Him

51. Fresh info! He put the price of soap up on the soap task AND got rid of the excess stock to a supplier. That sexy, business savvy muvva.
52. He's writing a book. So am I! Again, we are like brothers. I bet his will get published first but I won't hold it against him. He is lovely.
53. Him clowning around in the birthing pool was Margaret's favourite moment of the series. This is high, high kudos. Only very shallow people would see Margaret's praise as less important than a big salary.

Reasons why I'm pleased Yasmina won and not Kate
1. She was nicer to James than Kate throughout the tasks
2. She picked James for her team
3. She rocked the dentface look along with James
4. Boring statistics (wins as project manager, boardroom visits) say she was the best
5. Not boning Philip

As you can see, these are far fewer reasons than James has but I am happy to admit that Yasmina was not a tool. Fuck, I'm feeling generous - Howard, you weren't a tool either. But neither of you two were James.

I love you James McQuillan. Please ditch your very slow talking wife and come look after me. I can enjoy your big salary and kind manner. You can enjoy my lovely teeth and fine conversation. We can take long walks and if I continue to gain weight on my upper torso, it will be easy for you shut your eyes and play pretend during our lovemaking.

Reasons why James off of the Apprentice is better than everyone else

43. Debra got fired for being a dick. Suralan was all like, 'yes, you're very talented but you have a temper and you're too much of a dick for my organisation.' James is clearly not a dick.
44. Lorraine got fired for being a dick. Suralan was all like, 'yes, you're very intuitive but you rub people up the wrong way and you're too much of a dick for my organisation.' James is clearly not a dick.
45. James was the best-looking toddler out of all the final 5. We've seen the pictures!
46. Kate has no personality, so Suralan says. Ha! James has personality to spare. He could give some to Robocunt (formerly: The Heat Magazine whore) and he'd still be a more interesting, more wonderful business-savvy person.
47. Yasmina lies about her accomplishments. Ha! James doesn't need to lie. His success in business is so huge that it must be put into obscure acronyms to fit onto an easily portable CV. If he used full words, it would be hundreds of pages long and just un-ecological.
48. He 'puts a leash on people who spunk money up the wall.' That's a good thing, surely. In these troubled times. (And really, these money spunking people should be restrained. It's unchristian.)
49. When he left, the whole nation wept. The whole nation = me, James and Debra. Would we weep for Robocunt? I think not.
50. He got a 'with regret.' Only Mona and James have got those this season so James is in very exclusive company. (Debra got a 'keep in touch' but that's only because she seems easy. It's no 'with regret.')