1. AMELIA LILLY – I loved her Disney Princess Avril cover. I liked the exaggerated whispering most – as if she was talking to her friendly, talking crab or woodlouse.
2. MISHA B – I liked her Disney Villain Pink cover far less. She looked exactly like Ursula the sea witch. Was Ursula the sea witch meant to be black? Thoughts on a postcard, please.
3. LITTLE MIX – Their Motown cover was wretched and sealed their fate as the worst vocalists ever to win this show. (Oooh! Three-week late spoiler!) But their Beyonce cover of If I Were A Boy was so full of pleasant wailing, it was bursting at the seams. Jesy really felt the song – possibly because she can benchpress more than a boy. Because she’s fat. I hope she reads this and it inspires her to lose some weight. Or at least to shut up about being fat.
4. MARCUS – Oh how Marcus has slumped! Last place again! His My Girl cover was sung well but completely weird as we know he is a great big bender. The fact he was so clearly ‘acting’ at being ‘normal’ made it all very West End. The other song was so shit, even the judges said so and Gary had to admit Marcus had a cold. ‘Can You Feel It?’ We could not.
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